2018.. the good

For a friend's son's holy communion as return gifts we were all given small bottles with a wish inside it.
Mine read:
Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not;
remember that what you now have was once among the things you had hoped for.

Which is indeed true. I have stuck it on my fridge as a daily reminder to be thankful for the blessings.

My good memories of 2018

This house has been a dream come true. The close knit community, a great place for the kids to grow up, lots of friends for them and us, natural light that streams in to all of the rooms and the best - our terrace. Plants and an old fashioned verandah for us to laze around, do jigsaws, host parties, have our morning and evening chai, read a book... It has really been a dream come true.

Kerehaklu trip. It so happened that we didn't travel anywhere this year. No short trips, no long trips, no bike trips, no long drives. By November, I was saturated. We initially planned a weekend at Kerehaklu and then the BH proposed bunking school on Friday. Turned out to be one of the most relaxing vacations we have ever taken. The weather was good, food was perfect. We walked so much both of the days, read books, played board games. The kids were well behaved and we all relaxed. Made us realize how important these short trips are. And sometimes we need to be alone- just the four of us to recharge our batteries together and make some memories that are ours alone.

Time spent with S and M. I got to travel to US and stay at M's place and spend time with her kids. And then she came to India and we again had a week together. Friday dinners at S's place has also been quite a regular feature. And as a bonus, S came over and spent two days with us. We talked and walked and ate. By the end of two days, the BH was quite jealous and commented that he had never seen me so relaxed. Out of those two days was born the step count update. S started it off with walking 10K+ steps daily and sending us the screenshot. M and I both grumbled and started it half halfheartedly, but now we both religiously complete more than 11K steps daily. Am very lucky to have these two in my life.

Hosted a lot of parties this year - all filled with fun. P came over as a surprise for the BH's birthday. B and the kids spent a couple of days with us. The usual Bangalore gang met up almost every weekend or so. Had our community friends get together. Lots of food and drink.

The BH had a good year at work. Contract renewed, new geographies added, time extended. From starting out completely on his own three years back to getting to this stage, its commendable. And I'm proud that he did all this on his own. Its all been his hard work and persistence along with a very clear focus on what he wants.

One of the good things that came out of Mowgli's panic attacks is our night walks. After dinner is done, all four of us go down for a walk. The kids sometimes cycle, sometimes skate, sometimes go play with their friends if they are also down and sometimes they walk with us.It can be as long as an hour or as short as 10 minutes depending on my calls for the night. However it goes, this is something we all look forward to. To unwind from the day. Its become a daily ritual that the kids look forward to. Did it help Mowgli? I think it did and more than him, it helped us also.

My sister and brother-in law came down from Australia and we spent a lot of time together. My sister and I have a huge age gap and we were never the close sisters that you read about. She was more of the irritating younger sister who was forever tagging along. She has grown up, surprisingly! It was good to have her with us and just be. No agenda, no rush. Lot of good food. The kids were pampered thoroughly. These two have always made us realize the importance of playing board games with the kids. Even Bambi joined in for a change.

The gardening concept store. We have been thinking about it for ages and finally did a small sale at our apartment. A lot of things still need to be worked out before we can get it into full swing, but good to make a start.

Family time with the BH's parents, my grandparents, cousins. This year was good. Went for two year end vacations with the extended family and everybody enjoyed it. Plans are being made to make this into a regular annual feature. Everybody is getting older and it seems that time together is running out.

Started a vision board for both of us. Got my 2 wheeler learners license. Read a lot of books thanks to long flights. Maid worries almost over and things are settled on that front. Pruned my whatsapp groups. Let go of friends that have played their course. Supported and mentored people both personally and professionally. Watched a 4D movie for the first time. Rejoined Kathak and enjoying it. Gave more of me to my friends. Fought and made up with the BH at least once every day. Got the BH hooked to a cup of coffee in the morning to be had after the kids have left for school.

2018.. the bad

2019 is here..

Like every other year, I wish that this year will be calmer, healthier, happier and all the jing bang

When I think back to 2018, the underlying thread through all the events, conversations, milestones seem to have been "discontent". I was quite surprised when this thought popped up in my mind. I don't think that I'm a dissatisfied person by nature.. usually happy and content with whatever life gives me. But in the last one year, I've felt that nothing was enough. There was a lot of complaining - both internally in my thoughts and externally.

At work;  with the usual politics. I was known as the problem solver, the person everyone turned to to sort out difficult client situations, messed up projects.. But, that didn't translate to the rewards I expected. Explanations were given, like all explanations it didn't really matter.. Lots of changes at work, abusive clients, people I knew personally were treated badly with the firm turning a blind eye to those incidents. I was disillusioned with the leadership and disengaged.

At home; there was the usual tussle on time. And the competition for attention - the kids, BH,dogs.. It would usually end with me shouting at everybody and then feeling guilty and miserable for hours. Contradictory actions. Mowgli had his issues this year and we were to blame partly. Whatever said and done, we failed to provide him that safety net. Bambi was also neglected amidst all the hungama. I would make million resolutions to be calm, mindful, relax  but nothing was practiced. Wasn't able to carve out family time on a regular basis. There was no routine to our days. It just seemed to be running from one chaos to another.

Pushing the BH to detail out what he wants to do was easier said than done. A lot of discontent there also. My frustration that things didn't seem to be moving and his that he was still thinking through. Resentment from both sides that the other just didn't understand.

Health; the year in which I spent the most on dietitians and what not! The last straw was the dietitian telling me that it was poor gut health and low metabolism. I thought the diets were supposed to fix that! The weight has been increasing in spite of everything.

General dissatisfaction with family. The feeling of being taken for granted and never given our due increased to a crescendo this year with a lot of small incidents. Where before, I would sweep these under the carpet, this year I hoarded them and made them bigger and bigger in my mind. Led to a shift in relationships, indifference towards relationships that were quite precious to me and so on.

By the end of the year, I just wanted it to get over and be done with. Haven't felt this disinterested with life in ages. And so distracted. Trying to do at least three things at a time. Answering emails and what not during office calls. Haven't cooked anything special this year. No weekly menu planning, no routines set. There was no joy in doing. It was as if I needed to tick these things off my list and then start my Life. What I forgot this year was that this is Life!!!

Miracle Mornings

I read the book Miracle Morning and it resonated deeply. the very act of disciplining yourself to wake up at a specific time, starting your day in a peaceful manner, positive affirmations throughout. Most of it made sense and it felt like training your mind to achieve the smaller things so that one day the larger goals also seem attainable.

The BH and I used to be early birds, waking up early to catch up on work, exercise and starting our day more productively. In the last one year, we've slipped behind big time. Changes in work, general disillusionment with work, life and a feeling of nothing being in control meant that we were mostly in a reactive mode. And that has affected quite a lot of things. Health, motivation levels, everything being done half heartedly and half finished.

Anyway, fresh with resolutions and intent we started yesterday with putting together a schedule for Mowgli. He was quite excited about it. Factored in time for his mridangam practice, play time, reading time, study time etc. Printed it out and pinned it to their cupboard door. And yeah, it works! Mowgli somehow likes the notion of everything being measured- so a study time of 45 min seems doable to him than if we were to ask him to study till he finishes a subject. Though he would still take the same time, he likes that the timetable has an end time and that is helping him focus better. Bambi is also copying him (as always!!) , so we've told her that we'll make another one for her.

Woke up as planned today. Did not follow the routine as per the book, but got a lot of pending things done and out of the way.

Life....

What I realize is somehow I’m drawn to huge open spaces.. greenery… places that hold the promise of a peaceful life.. of time for myself, to be less mechanical and transactional about stuff.

Its what drew me towards zed earth, good earth.. the community.. the fresh air.. being connected to nature...the aspiration of having a  fruitful life, one in which I contribute to society, to my family, to my work and going to bed contented.

Every couple of months, I get into this introspection.. am I doing enough.. should be doing more.. and then somehow hatch up schemes that I think will change our life.. It is this restlessness within me that I don’t understand.. The BH makes fun of me saying that if I just use the time that I spend in thinking and planning maybe things will get done faster. And for all this talk, am yet to stick onto something. A focused 30 min of exercise daily.. some prayer time regularly.. a bedtime ritual.. even something as simple as rubbing cream on my feet every night.  Is it a lack of discipline or motivation?? I don’t know. Sometime it works if i have somebody keeping a tab… after the initial burst and the subsequent lag, I find that if I stick on to something till then the internal motivation kicks in.. its just that the lag period in between is quite strong!

So here I am yet again thinking of how to improve our quality of life.. more music.. less shouting.. more loving and the feeling of being cocooned in that warmth of togetherness… To make our home a haven where we rest in peace and gain energy to face the world!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!
We were in Coorg and it was a very beautiful night. Close friends… Good conversation.. Yummy food.. Spirits… A very relaxed and content start to the new year. There is something wonderfully magical about a new year. Its like starting afresh yet again! Its all good intentions and plans and excitement at what the future holds. And mainly Hope. Hope that this year sees us doing better than the last. That this will be the year where most of our dreams will come true. That we will do full justice to every single day of this year.
Hope. Its a powerful feeling....

2011 was a materialistically good year for us. We made most of the home improvements that we had been talking of for oh so long. We managed to pay off a huge chunk of our housing loan. Got our house painted. Have a small balcony garden with plants that look green as opposed to brown. Good health all around. Families were fine. Everything was pretty smooth sailing.
2011 brought us our small ever smiling bundle of joy who conquered everybody's hearts. Two kids and the house has never known a minute of quiet.
Mentally it has been one of the most draining years I’ve ever seen. My motto throughout was “Dear God, please help me manage!” Manage the kids.. manage the house.. manage three meals on time… manage my office work.. manage the plants.. the dog and umpteen other commitments that seemed to sprout from nowhere. Constantly on over drive, doing something and at the same time mentally planning the next task. Days when I was so tired that I could barely stand and all I wanted was to just escape from this and go sleep somewhere in the hills! Realized that working from home is more strenuous than going to office. The only consolation was that I could work in peace and not get paranoid about what the maid was doing at home with the kids. I would crib about too much work to my mom and her sharp reply would be get rid of the plants and Cocoa. But how could I do that? I’ve realized that I want everything N.O.W. I cannot wait for things. Cannot wait for the kids to grow up and then have a well maintained house. I want everything together. And in the process of trying to do too many things I lose my calm with everybody else around. Makes me wonder whether its worth it. The BH helped a lot, more than ever. But me being stubborn me had to do things my way!
Anyways hoping that this year will see us more relaxed and enjoying life more and living it to the fullest.
Coz, if I count all my blessings, my cup runneth over and for that Dear God, Thank you.

introspection...

Most problems come from the insecurities within… of fears that once surfaced and now refuse to die down…. of not trusting the other enough…. of judging too soon and too harsh.

Two religions.. different rituals.. different thoughts.. but are they also different? The thoughts? Shouldn’t they be the link that bind?

Who is family? when do we move away from our parents? Treat them as extended family and not immediate.

Is trust overrated? Why cant we just let go? Believe that the other will be fair. Believe that we are priority. Believe in the decision. Treat everything else as noise. Cocoon ourselves in this family.

In our hopscotch world, we need to create our own family traditions.. borrow some.. make some.. but all those that we believe in… both of us.. for our family and the ones to follow….

Look at the life ahead and the years wasted… make an effort to reclaim lost land… realize the happiness in being together with each other.. for each other always…
Life…

And wat somebody told me very recently.. we create the atmosphere which determines how people will react to us/behave with us…

memories

Today is Kitu's birthday. I still mark the date on my calendar. Rediff sent me reminder mails showing me potential gifts. His friends have wished him on Orkut.
All I can think of is why would God do this to someone so young? Somebody who has yet to live his dreams. We were planning to go for a rock concert. Planning to visit him in Goa. Hoping that he would get a job in Bangalore. And its all been wasted. Futile. I can think of so many people who could have died instead of him. What was the karma there? What was the purpose?
Love you lots Kitu. Be happy.
Those dreams... we'll live it up next time. Promise.

Where did we go?

Do you like spending time with me?
When you think of me, does it bring a smile to your face?
Do you plan to do stuff with me?
Do you like talking to me?
Do you like doing things with me?
Do you eagerly wait for me to get back from work?
Do you think of us growing old together?
Can you imagine us ten years hence?
Am I your life?
Does my smile make your heart light?
Do you love me?

Where am I and where are you? Together and yet apart. Friends hanging on a thin thread. Soul-mates lost somewhere in the maze of life.
I search for you, for the you I loved, for the you I fought for, for the you I want to spend my life with. Where are you?
Black clouds gather above us. Evil wishes hover around. I pick at beads, at holy water mumble the little prayers I know. Try to dispel the gloom. But maybe it is in us.
My hand looks for yours. For the comfort I feel, for the warmth. For that is love. If I could just feel so looking at two intertwined hands. One snug in the other.
My eyes look into yours. Where have you gone? The twinkle, the depth. Where did it go?
You.
Me.
Where did we go?

Indian Heritage Academy

The BH wanted to learn to play the chenda. It is a Kerala style drum . We googled it, asked people about it, but hit a blank wall. Many months later I was talking about this during our evening chai session and one of the managers told me to go enquire at Indian Heritage Academy. This was the first time I was hearing about this place. Got their number, found out that they have a guy who teaches the Mridangam. And after that we did nothing! Finally last week, we decided to go see this place. I fell in love with it! It has anything and everything being taught. So while you walk about, there is a bharatanatyam class going on in one corner; another room you can hear the Saaaaa, Reee of a young crowd . A little further on there are painting classes, guitar, keyboard, most instruments and yes Kathak too! ( I’ve been looking for a good place to learn Kathak for the past couple of years) We looked at the timings and joined the two classes immediately. The BH has signed up for Mridangam classes and me for the Kathak Beginners Class. I wanted to put Mowgli in something, but he is too small for any of these. But when he grows up, he is definitely coming here!
It made me happy to do this. Maybe because I get this feeling sometimes that we are wasting our life away looking at excel sheets or just doing the same things over and over again. Are we doing the things that will matter to ourselves in the long run? And there is this tiny voice telling me to make time for these, coz the rest do not matter!!!

GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE

GVE ME SOME SUNSHINE

GIVE ME SOME RAIN

GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE

I WANT TO GROW UP ONCE AGAIN!

So given a chance what will you do?

I for one will sit once more for the MBBS entrance examination and make sure I clear it. The feeling that I should have taken it once more instead of taking the easy way out (Engg) is getting reinforced again and again. I really really wish I could have been a doctor. I think I would have made a good doctor :-)

I would have continued with my dance classes. Not just left it because when I moved to a new town, I did not like my new teacher! After learning for 10 years, I should have taken it up professionally. Or at least pursued it regularly. For someone who can be so passionate about dancing, I really do not understand why I did what I did!

I would have ignored the small stuff! Not mentally tortured myself over every one of life's thorns.

Not many regrets when I look back, but the ones that are there are damn strong.

What about you? If given a second chance what would you do?

Happy 2010!

"Adventure calls. Blaze a new trail. Cross a continent. Dare to discover. Escape the routine. Find a fresh perspective. Go slow; gaze absentmindedly and savor every moment. Have some fun! Invest now in future memories. Journeys are the midwives of thought; Keep a journal. Leave prejudice and narrow mindedness behind. Make for the horizon and meet new people. Navigate the unknown. Observe, and open your mind. Pursue a road less traveled. Quest for truth. Rely on yourself. Sail away from the safe harbor; Take a risk. Unleash your curiosity. Venture further. Why wait? eXpect the unexpected. Say Yes to adventure….journey with Zeal!"

This is what I wish for myself and for everybody else.
A year filled with love and laughter and adventure. A year that you'll never want to end. A year where you will make memories that will last a lifetime. A year that will be cherished always. A super duper smashing year!
Have fun!
God Bless!

.

I am my father

I am my mother

I am everything that I was scared to be

Blah. blah blah

We have been back and its been one thing after the other. The trip was so tiring that all we did on the first weekend was sleep sleep and then sleep some more. Then it was a week of illness. The BH got it first, bad cold and chest congestion. Mowgli followed it up with a hunger strike and fever and cold. I rounded up the series with a bad sinus attack. We have been resting and things are looking better.
Went to Daily dump and bought their compost bin. I am always thinking about the environment and how to better it and stuff, so this is a good time to start off on what I believe. Day one and two went fine. The waste is in it and its covered with paper. Can’t see any worms as of now. I just hope it is manageable and doesn’t stink!
Went for a birthday party last Saturday and got a culture shock. A 4 year old girl playing with her balloon, misses it and exclaims ‘Oh shit!’. There are other people around, but nobody seems to have noticed or is this the norm? A cousin’s wife tells me that her students’ in third and fourth standards regularly swear in class! ‘Shit’ is something ordinary. As long as they don’t use the F word, the teachers don’t reprimand them. My manager tells me about a conversation he overheard between two 6 year olds. ‘Don’t play with X, his dad has only a Zen!’
Are these the new generation? Brand conscious, materialistic, bad language; kids do not even behave like kids anymore. Any mall that I go to, I hardly see kids dressed like kids. The girls are mostly always in satin or tight dresses like those item dancers wear and high heels and matching accessories. Whatever happened to good old jeans/simple frocks or just normal clothes? I used to blame the parents, but now I realize that even the kids are very particular about what they wear etc. Hello, kindergarten kids suffer from peer pressure!
As of now, I do not want to expose Mowgli to TV. I want him to learn to read/paint or learn to occupy himself and not just mindlessly sit in front of the TV. NO branded stuff for him till he clears his tenth. You tell me, what’s the logic in getting a 13 year old Reebok shoes worth 3000/- which he’ll definitely outgrow in a year? I want him to go on walks, play outside, do other stuff rather than watch TV. As always parents propose and the child disposes. Time will tell how successful I am. But whatever it is this is one fight I am not letting go that easily!!!

And we waste time just like that not knowing how much we have!

The fools that we are.

A college mate died today. Brain tumor. It was discovered quite late. He was not a friend, at least not a close one. We were together in an extracurricular group and had interacted quite frequently. Furthermore he had had a huge crush on one of my friends, so knew him that ways also.
He was my age. 29 years old. Is that an age to die? When your entire life is before you. He left behind a pregnant wife. I cannot even imagine how she would be feeling. How will his child grow up? I look at mowgli surrounded by so much love. From us. From our extended family, friends, relatives. He is totally pampered in that ways. What did that poor child do to deserve this fate?
It again reminds me of him.
Of life being unfair.
Of us whom life has decided to bless. How do we treat this gift? Do we treasure it and live life to its fullest? Or do we sit and waste it away? Only to regret it later!
Squabbling about petty things. Worrying about money and bank balances. Bothered about the opinions and verdicts that others have about us and our kids. Dreaming big and then filing away these dreams in a locked box where they’re never allowed to see the light of the day.
When will it get into our dumb heads that life will go on and we have to make the most of it today.
Now.

A super duper smashing rolling weekend!!!!

P and his wife S had come down from Cochin. This was an occasion for all of us to get together. It was after such a looooooooooooong time that all eight of us were together again that for the time being all differences and hurts were swept under the carpet. What did we do? Ate. Slept. Talked. Tried out two new restaurants. Lebanese at the World cuisine network and Café Terra for their breakfasts. The latter was great. I see myself going back there again J
Saturday night, the BH made beef roast. Mowgli slept at 8pm like a very good boy and therefore i had a really good time. We talked and talked till 1 in the morning. It has been so long since we did it. Reliving our college days. Before marriage Bangalore adventures. Gossiping about old friends and foes and how many have moved in between the categories. This time around there was a new topic of conversation. In-laws! Now that all of us are married everybody had something to say about spouses and in-laws and relatives. The guys cribbed about their wives and S and I made fun of our husbands. S had a great time listening firsthand to all of P’s performances in college. I guess we supplied her with a lot of fodder for future blackmail and leg pulling J Poor P!
It made me nostalgic, very nostalgic. Not just me but everybody. It was like a realization to us as in ‘see, how much have you guys changed!’ I think we should do this more often. Like get together every month or so and just talk. We have made plans for this New Year. Book a cottage somewhere and chill just like how we did in 2006.
It is so easy to get carried away in the rush.
It takes so little time to stop and smell the roses.
Why don’t we stop then?

Back and feeling so much better.

It was viral fever and the head aches were sinus realted ones and everything is under control now with the proper medication and steam inhalation. I really don’t know why I was so dumb or block headed to suffer for more than two weeks. Every day in office by about 4/5 I would start shivering. Then the pain in my head would start. I would be unable to look at the screen or concentrate on the work. I was also getting dizzy at times. And the moron that I am it never actually occurred to me that it could be because I am not well. I was thinking that maybe I’m going into some depression or else the headaches were psychological. Why I behaved in such an illogical way and suffered so much pain is beyond me?
Finally when the headaches got really worse and the pain started bringing tears to my eyes at night, I thought enough is enough. I need to go see a doctor. Or better still finally I called my dad! (Now don’t start off on why I didn’t call him earlier!! As I said I was not sane!) He prescribed antibiotics, told me I had sinus (!). I took the medicines and went to office thinking that all will be well. After some time I very nearly fainted. A colleague rushed me to the medical; room to check my BP. Everything was normal thankfully. Just a fever. The BH came and picked me up from office. I just went home and crashed. That day and the next day is a haze. I just remember sleeping and sleeping and sleeping.
Alls well that ends well./ I have learnt my lesson here. If not well call appa immediately!!!
And peace returns to the jungle house.

30 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I TURN 30

1. Stand on the Himalayas (any of the top 10 peaks!)
2. Get a tattoo- preferably of cupid or the cute nappy clad devil
3. Get back to 60 kgs!!!
4. Be FRM certified
5. Visit Ladakh
6. Drive the car on a regular basis
7. Wear a dress- those flowery flowery ones
8. Get promoted in my current job
9. Learn Drums
10. Get back to dancing
11. Publish an article
12. Plant at least ONE tree
13. Drive the Bolero on a long drive (P.S.Buying the Bolero features in the BH’s list of 30 things!!!)
14. Enjoy a sunrise/sunset with Mowgli
15. Touch a tiger cub ( at least a cub)
16. Have a thriving balcony garden filled with the flowers I dream of
17. Exercise regularly
18. Go on a trek/trip every three months.
19. Go for the moonlight cycling trip with the BH
20. To be more at peace with myself, calmer with the BH and Mowgli, thinking twice before I react.
21. To sing at my sister’s wedding (i.e. if she agrees to get married !)
22. To visit Doodh sagar Falls and attempt a final Goodbye to Kitu
23. Take the parents and the in-laws on a huge vacation ( separately or together J)
24. Get a second ear stud
25. Let go of the past- the hurts, the slights, the pointing fingers
26. Sponsor a child
27. Go for dinner wearing something totally outrageous
28. Give a training/guest lecture at any B-school
29. Learn to enjoy and treasure my time with BH and Mowgli and Cocoa and be thankful for what I have
30. LIVE LIFE KINGSIZE

I have 16 months to do all this. My time starts now!!!

And then life happened!

One of my friends is getting married in three months and we were discussing possible honeymoon locations. I sent him a couple of links. Some minutes later he asks me “Have you done a Ph.D in this?” I smile the whole thing away, but there is a heavy feeling in my heart.
These were places which I wanted to see with the BH. Places where I wanted to go. Soon after marriage before all the responsibilities strike you, when you are still young and free, while you still believe in the beauty of life. Sleep in log cottages. Look at the snow capped mountains and sip coffee. Go for long walks. Stay up all night talking about everything and anything. Take oodles of photographs. Cozy honeymoon snaps. Make it a memory, a memory to go back and look at with fondness when things get wild. The stuff dreams are made of. At least my dreams.
And then life happened!
At first we did not have the money considering that we did not get any financial help from our parents when we got married. So most of our savings went in setting up the house and even that was a five year plan. Then once we had something in the bank and could afford it, we bought this house. The huge emi’s ensured that all such trips were out of the question. And then I got pregnant and mowgli came along. We can go now since Mowgli is old enough to be left with his grand parents, but I doubt whether it would be the same. We have changed, our thoughts have changed and maybe the way we look at this trip or feel while on the trip might not be the same. This is the cynic/eternal pessimist in me that’s doing the talking. Four years into our marriage this list of places remains just a word document in my laptop. A word doc that I eagerly forward to friends for their honeymoons. I still don’t know why I bother to keep it, I just can’t bring myself to delete it coz I had spent a lot of my time compiling that list and somehow to delete it requires more will power than I currently have.
So the list remains along with a lot of other such paraphernalia that I had before life happened!

P.S. http://www.chaletsnaldehra.com/ one of the links.

Thought for the day.

It is not the tangible things in life that affect us,

but the intangibles;

our beliefs, desires, values and our vision for the future;

Yeh kitne ka hai didi?

My maid asks me pointing at the onions? Ek kilo ka kitna hai? I look at her blankly. I have no clue how much one kilo onions cost! I go to the sabzi wala point out the veggies I need and the quantities. Sometimes I ask him the price but its more of a “ I know the prices elsewhere so don’t try to cheat me” strategy. I mumble something at her, reel off a totally arbit number. 18/-. She looks at me sometimes in surprise (if the price is too high) sometimes in grudging admiration (if the price I have quoted is too low.) or mostly with a sagely look. “Sab kuch itna mehenga hua hai abhi. “
I heave a small sigh of relief and relax with my coffee. Yeh ek kilo ka kitna kai? She points at the bru packet. I again stare at her blankly and mentally grind my teeth. Won’t she ever give up? I mumble 100/- sure that is way too high. Once she is off I surreptiously pick up the empty packet and check the price. My eyes pop out! 180/- for 200 gms!!!! And here I am coolly telling her 100/- for one kilo! Is BRU so expensive? I though Nescafe was expensive. Isn’t that why I was drinking bru? My confused mind rambles on.
It is with a small jolt that I realize its been quite a long time since I looked at the price tags. I remember religiously doing so when I was in MBA. When I had to survive on my meager pocket money and manage the long phone calls (at that time mobiles were horribly expensive. Even incoming calls were charged. Yes there was a time like that long long ago.) Then I used to check the price of everything, buy the cheaper one, even if its cheaper by just one rupee. After landing a job and coming to Bangalore, I don’t remember checking prices. How many of us really check the prices now? I look at people in the supermarket. They are all like me. Just take a packet, look at the label and dump it in the cart and move on. There is no shock or outrage at the prices. We keep reading about inflation and how the cost of living has gone up, but its only now I realize the truth. I now look at the prices and try to memorize them so that I don’t fail the next question by her :-)
Or else an even better way is to hide the entire shopping bags before she comes!!!!!!