I just had the most ridiculous conversation ever!

Went down for breakfast and saw a guy from the same company. I was introduced to him yesterday evening, so for courtesy sake thought 'll join him. Wrong Wrong Wrong decision!

We got talking. Work, Austin etc etc. Then, he asked me about my background.

"***** from Kerala, ****** from Trichy". He looks at me for some time , then exclaims"Oh, you are a mallu?"

"Yes."

"Oh! How did you overcome your accent?"

What??? What the #$%^&*^%$#@! I smile at him politely and just leave the question unanswered. Anybody with half a brain can make out that I'm just being polite. bUt No, this guy just doesnt get it.

I mutter " Not all mallus have an accent!"

He smiles widely " Yes, Yes.. Like me!". So Mr. Indian-trying -hard-to-be-an-american is a mallu. He dismisses Kerala with a shrug and tries a drawl" I've been in Bangalore and US most of my life. Thankfully was out before I could develop that accent. I'm a seetisen now!" Its all I can do to not correct him. Its citiZen! not seetisen.

"So Have you been in Blore for a long time ?"

I say, "not much. just 5 years."

" Oh, so thats when you got rid of your mallu accent!"

I am ready to throw the waffles and syrup at him. I again force myself to smile politely and tell him, "No . This is how I used to speak before also. Have not consciously monitored and changed the way I speak". He still looks unconvinced. I am least bothered. I start gobbling my food trying to escape from this wierdo.

He starts talking about his family and we move into neutral subjects.

"I guess, the school that you went to, they removed your accent."

I try to smile, but I have gone past politeness. I just glare at him.

He still doesnt get it! "Tell me... What about your parents?Do they have an accent?"

What is his #%^$ problem? Arre yaar, isnt language a mode of communication? Everybody has an accent. Why will you assume that an American accent is better than a Bihari accent? Even he has an accent. There are time he tries to americanize his words and at times subconsciously his native accent does come through.

" My dad did his schooling etc outside Kerala. My mom spent her whole life in Keral. She started conversing in English when I was born and No, she doesnot have an accent!"

By this time I'm stuffed most of the food down my throat and am in serious danger of choking!

"Hmmmmm... So after school did you join any conversation course like spoken english?"

And thats it! I get up with my half finished plate, try a last attempt at a polite smile and ESCAPEEEEEEEEE!!!

Newsssssssss

The latest update from Kerala is that there is a dire shortage of toys especially balls and balloons in the Thrissur district. There have been random sightings of an energetic boy tagging along two tired but very happy grand parents. The animals at the zoo have not yet recovered from yesterday's onslaught.
The love birds at home are scared to even say "chirp chirp" as each time they open their mouth, a small hand beats on the cage and says Chup! The frogs and fishies do not have it any better. The grand parents are blackmailed with a firm "Go to der". If by any chance they rebel and do not obey his highness's command, they are immediately brought under control by the magic words " mama... dada..". They tremble at the very thought of Mr.Mowgli becoming sad. And he knows that. He is gonna have a culture shock when he gets back to Blore! :-)
On the other hand, the blood pressure levels in Cochin district have come down after having shot up to astronomical levels due to Miss Cocoa going on a starvation strike. My dad says its because she was missing us. My mom says its because my dad tied her out in the sun for an hour for two days. She was given a royal treatment after that. AC bedroom, sausages to snack on, beef soup , and what not. She is fine ; relaxing and enjoying the five star treatment. She is also gonna have a culture shock when she gets back to Blore! :-)
P.s. She put her paws on my mom's shoulders and gave her a big lick. Gave my mom the scare of her life!!!

Big boy

Dear Mowgli,
Today you cross another milestone. You are going to kerala all alone and will be with your grandparents for a month. This is the first time that we both will be staying away from each other. From the time you were born till yesterday we have been together. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the trip. You will meet a lot of people who love you a lot- your uncles and aunts and grand parents and great grand parents. You will not hear any NOs and DON’T DOs. It will be your rules that everybody will play to. You sure gonna have fun. Huge gardens to play about, a pond full of fish and frogs for you to fill up with stones, flowers to pick, cocoa to play with and balls of every size and fancy!
As I write this, your dada has just bid goodbye to you. You are right now in the train with your papa and uma. Its been two days since I left. Your dada tells me that you ask for me sometimes and sometimes you can be seen sitting silently with tears filling your eyes. There is no crying, no tantrums. Maybe those would have been better than these silent tears. Are you thinking that I’ve left you? Do you understand that I’ll be back soon? I’m also missing you a lot. In fact missing you so much that I’ve started having rosy memories of that DISASTROUS Canada trip. J
On a better note, you have been talking A LOT! You repeat everything that we say. And its so funny and so cute. You call me mama, amma,ammi and at times you call me by my name! dada is dada , and at times dada is also called by name. You know the names of most of our friends now and have coined nicknames for them which I really hope will last J coz they are so funny!
You have started playing with all your toys now. The lion that you were scared of, you now sit on it and treat it as a horse. The train that you would not sit on, you spend most of your waking times on it. Ramming it into cocoa, reversing it over my feet, racing it from the drawing room to the kitchen and at times upturning it and closely examining the wheels! You have learnt to open the fridge now and it’s the most irritating thing that you could have ever learnt. You take out stuff from the fridge, put in things or just leave the door open and stand there enjoying the coolness. This happens about 100 times a day! I am frantically searching for the keys, but till then you enjoy! Books are still a favourite. You like them so much that we are scared to show you a book after 8 pm. I had read about how parents should read to their children before bedtime. Well, we did start it, but you refused to let us close the book. Your dada had to sneak and turn the lights off and we pretended that it was a power cut. We have learnt better now. There will be no more bedtime stories for you, at least from a book. The ones which mama tells you with lots of animals and animal voices and no clear storyline, those will definitely continue. Food is as usual a strict NOOOOOOOOOOOO. You continue to survive on milk. Your dada has thought of this game where he pretends that you are a tiger and try to feed you stuff and you in turn bite his fingers since you are the tiger! A lot of mashed fingers later, half a chappathi goes into your mouth. Nobody is complaining. It could have been worse! We are yet to figure out the source of your energy. You still are hovering between the underweight and the ‘just- above-underweight’ graph. I have given your grandparents strict targets to bring you back all fattened up. They did look a wee bit worried at that goal.
You are growing up to be a regular Casanova. Its embarrassing to take you out, coz your corner the girls and hug and kiss them and don’t let them go. Its not just the girls, you hug all the kids that you see.
All in all, you are huge fun! Except when you get hyperactive and do not go to sleep since you will miss out on all earth shattering events that will happen in those 4-5 hours that you doze off. So it’s a cycle. Sleepy baby- refuses to drink milk as its a probable sedative- gets crankier by the minute- struggles to open eyes wide and continues to play- sleepier- crankier- this goes on and on and then suddenly we distract you with something and you just fall off to sleep!
I’m missing you a lot here. You have fun!
Lotsa luv,
Mama

Four years down.. Many more to go...

Four years before, it was this day when we finally decided to forget everybody else's opinions and problems and just get married. When we vowed to take care of each other through thick and thin, through trials and sorrows, through life at each step.
When I was young, I had this very rosy idea of marriage. Of finding that one person with whom you share an entire lifetime. Of long walks and rainy evenings and coffee. Of talking and talking only to realize that its dawn. Of I don’t know what. A consequence of too much romance in my brain!
Then I went and married a guy’s guy. Meaning he is most comfortable with his friends. The strong silent types. The one who is a solid rock. For whom romance is an alien concept. Who prefers tea over coffee. (The ultimate sacrilege! Whoever heard of lovers romancing over tea???)
One thing I have realized in these four years is that marriage is not something as simple as just tying a thali and going about your life. There is a lot of work involved. So much is invested in this relationship. Both the partners are more vulnerable as there are no secrets. Every emotion is magnified here, be it the smallest of the smallest hurts or the simple joys. Marriage is something that gives you a lot of happiness and at the same time can give you a lot of pain as well. It requires you to be unconditional in your love which is the most difficult part. To love unconditionally; without expecting anything in return.
Today when I look back, most of my life’s happiest moments have been with the BH.
Of trips that we took and places we saw together. Of having ice cream late at night for no reason, but just because I felt so! Of being complete and content with life. Of being totally sure that whatever happens , this will be there. This relationship. To always fall back on.
He always made sure that I would never complain about lack of space in our relationship. For the 10 odd years that we have been together I have never ever felt stifled. Or that I was not “allowed” to do something. It is still strange when I hear friends talking about how they cannot wear certain outfits or go to certain places etc coz their husbands will not agree. Till date before doing something the thought that I need to ask permission has never crossed my mind. And this for me is the most important thing in any relationship. The freedom to be.
When I knew I was pregnant my first reaction was to howl and say that this is not the best time. I want to go to the Himalayas and how can I go with a baby! The BH consoled me saying that life doesn’t end with having a kid. It only gets richer and who said that you can’t do stuff after having children? He has kept his word. We still go on trips with Mowgli, eat out, have friends over and proceed to live our life as before. Yes, we have not yet gone to the Himalayas, but I’m sure we’ll get there :-) Maybe with Mowgli in tow! Who knows!!!
He is my most staunch supporter, my best advocate, my punching bag. The one person I turn to when I’m sad, the first person I push away when I’m down in the dumps, the one and only person who sees me as I am. In all my moods- good and bad; happy and sad. And still loves me for who I am. And that’s a lot! A HELLUVA LOT!
And today I have nothing more to say to you. Your actions say it all. That you will always be there for me; with me; and by my side.
And for that I thank Thee.

Cocoa less house

There is something missing in our home. What could it be?

Is it the fact that the floor mats are there right in front of the door where they are supposed to be?

Or is it that we now wake up with the alarm clock instead of having 30 kgs jump on your bladder as a wake up call.

Or could be that the house looks unnaturally neat! No bones, no mess, everything where it is supposed to be

Or is it that the house is peaceful and quiet.

No ball of fur pushing you to the floor as you walk in a moment of affection. No expectant face sitting by the front door the moment the BH puts on his shoes. Nobody to lick you to death. No comfortable weight on your legs hogging the quilt at night. No welcoming bark. No welcoming tail whacks.

Its a sad and boring house without Cocoa :-(

[Cocoa when we got her at 2 months!]

And Now! Almost fully grown going to complete a year soon.

Tidbits

Hectic would be a very mild word to describe the weekend that was!
Drove down to Cochin on Saturday. Spent Sunday visiting myriad relatives. Todaymorning drove back!
Am flying this Saturday. So left cocoa with my parents. She was looking a bit sad and left out, not understanding why we were going in the car and not taking her :-( Have given my parents a long list of instructions and Dos and Donts.
The BH’s parents have come back with us. They will be here for a week and will take Mowgli with them after I leave. The Bh will see him during the weekends. And once I am back we will go together and bring back both of them.
Mowgli was fine this weekend. Spending all his time with his grandparents. We sneaked off for a movie and he slept with my mom. Yesterday he slept with my in-laws. These are stuff that he hasn’t done till now. He has always needed me at night. With this, I guess I am being slowly pushed out. And as always this is both good and sad. Cant understand why all his milestones take him one step away from me!
A lot of people are waiting for the coming four weeks. There are so many plans being made that I doubt that 2 weeks at each place would be sufficient. Grandparents, Great grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins- so many people looking forward to seeing Mowgli. I remember I used to love my vacations because with my grandparents I was allowed to do everything and anything. I remember trips to the zoo, to the club, playing shuttle, reading books, swimming pool and being totally totally exhausted by the end of the day! Looks like Mowgli is going to enjoy this vacation. I hope he has fun and doesnt miss us a lot. ( Obviously I want him to miss us a little bit at least :-) The picture has Mowgli and my grand father)
FRM exam preparation is at an all time low. Its not going as fast as I had hoped. Most days I am too tired to actually wake up early the next morning and study. Counting on the three weeks in US to complete the entire stuff. The exams are a week after I get back. And after paying so much I’d better not fail!
And its been a year today. Yesterday I suddenly thought of what I would do if something happens to Mowgli when I’’m away. If I who have known for my son for just two years can feel so much of grief at just the thought of something happening to him, how much more is my chitta and chittapan undergoing right now? 19 years with their kid and in one cruel moment of fate everything taken away from them. I still remember my chitta crying out that day” If it was to take him away, then why did You ever give him to us?” It still hasn’t registered in my mind that is gone and I will never see him again. I keep on thinking that it is not possible. Wherever he is, hope he is happy and having fun.

...

Have this urge to run and hold the BH and Mowgli and cocoa close to me. Something deep inside does not feel right... Nothing has happened that can explain this sudden fancy. Is it a mere fancy? Insecurity? Getting the feeling that somebody has turned an evil eye on my family...

Going crazy?

Mixed emotions

I'm going to the US for three weeks on a business trip.
Right now I'm in a confused state wondering why I accepted it, how could I ever think that Mowgli will stay with his grand parents and a myriad more. He has never slept away from either of us. I seriously have no clue how he will cope.
The grand parents are super excited. Both sets will have him for two weeks. Plans are being made on how to have the most fun. A sad dada and miserable mama are not thinking about the four weeks.
Fingers are crossed. Hope Mowgli enjoys his first vacation.

Refreshed!

What was that forward about having four friends and a cup of chai to create the best time of your life.
That was our weekend. Except that we were 12 ! 5 friends and their wives and two brothers thrown in.

One cottage in the hills.
Rain falling.. softly. Touching the greens and cooling the heart
Tea estates all around.
The heady fragrance of evergreen trees and eucalyptus and pine.
Bright flowers everywhere.
A pack of cards. Dumb charades.
Lots of love.
Picture perfect!
The trip was heavenly. It cleansed the system... The mind..Reminded me of the reasons why I fell in love with the BH. Helped each one of us to see beyond the errant husband/nagging wife. To once again notice the qualities that we liked and had been buried beyond the mundane chores of life. Friendships that were straining under whatever reasons were revived.

A lot of good memories.

The BH and I and Mowgli walking in the rain. Just us. Talking about I forgot what. All 12 of us crammed on to a single bed. Singing old songs. Laughing so much that tears came and my stomach hurt so much. Remembering the jokes later on the night and wake up laughing! Dumb charades with a twist! Mowgli running around royally pampered by one and all. Good food. Great weather. Great friends.
Heavenly!

[A baby tea picker]

[Tired. but very very happy.]