It finally struck me that this is going to be my last week with my son and the tears started flowing. Sounds pretty melodramatic, but it wasn’t. He is sort of adjusting to the day care. The nonstop crying has stopped, I can leave him there for 2-3 hours and he doesn’t cry. But he is not happy there. The teachers tell me he plays with the toys, allows them to hold him but draws a line at eating and sleeping. As a result after some time he is sleepy as hell and totally refuses to go to sleep and ends up being cranky. I am relieved that he is not crying- it was sheer torture to stand outside the day care and hear him bawl. Even if he doesn’t eat or sleep there its okay. But I want him to enjoy the experience- of playing with other kids, singing songs and all that. I don’t want him to lose his mischieviousness or his cute smile. They tell me he is just one of those kids who take a longer time to adjust. Only time will tell.
Last night I was hugging him and singing him to sleep in my off key voice. He was drifting off to sleep and sleepily a small voice said ‘mama’ and a small hand pulled my neck and planted two kissies on my cheek. I could not stop crying. The little brat just went off to sleep with his hand firmly tucked around my neck. I hugged him close in the darkness and wondered again for the umpteenth time whether am I doing the right thing? Years later when Mowgli grows up will this become an issue with him? Its all so confusing. Each step that you take there are so many factors involved. I have never thought so much about my life. Decisions are made in a jiffy and there are no regrets. But when it comes to Mowgli, there are so many pros and cons and ifs and buts. Should I give him cerelac or home made porridges? Breast milk or bottle? Curd or dal? Cold ka medicine or good old steam inhalation? The list just goes on and on. I am happy with most of the choices I have made for him including working part time and spending 18 months with him. I have been the first person to see his first smile, his first tooth, his first steps his first words everything. Now most of this will be second hand information and there’s no fun in that L
This is turning out to be a far more traumatic experience for me rather than Mowgli!!!!
Last night I was hugging him and singing him to sleep in my off key voice. He was drifting off to sleep and sleepily a small voice said ‘mama’ and a small hand pulled my neck and planted two kissies on my cheek. I could not stop crying. The little brat just went off to sleep with his hand firmly tucked around my neck. I hugged him close in the darkness and wondered again for the umpteenth time whether am I doing the right thing? Years later when Mowgli grows up will this become an issue with him? Its all so confusing. Each step that you take there are so many factors involved. I have never thought so much about my life. Decisions are made in a jiffy and there are no regrets. But when it comes to Mowgli, there are so many pros and cons and ifs and buts. Should I give him cerelac or home made porridges? Breast milk or bottle? Curd or dal? Cold ka medicine or good old steam inhalation? The list just goes on and on. I am happy with most of the choices I have made for him including working part time and spending 18 months with him. I have been the first person to see his first smile, his first tooth, his first steps his first words everything. Now most of this will be second hand information and there’s no fun in that L
This is turning out to be a far more traumatic experience for me rather than Mowgli!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment