What will it take to tell yes to everything?
To trust the other person
To let go that they are capable of taking that informed
decision And that it’s not within me to decide what another should or shouldn’t
do?
I think this comes from my mother. Her first response to
everything was no. More from a fear of what others will think, society, afraid
that she would be judged for saying yes to her daughters. The no would turn to
yes, but it always took time and was a reluctant yes. What that has ingrained
in me is a constant second guessing of my decisions. Am I doing the right thing
taking the right path and therefore never confident enough to take a decision
alone always needing outside validation. It worked the opposite way on my
sister. She stopped asking my mom or anybody for that matter permission. She
took her own decisions made her own mistakes and learnt from those.
Yesterday when I told no to the BH for something he has
been looking forward to for a long time he was hurt. Well so was I that he could
change his plans so casually without even thinking about us and this is always
the norm when it comes to his friends. But something he said stayed with me 'If you behave like this then how can I ever take a decision? Because at the
back of my mind I will always have this feeling that I don’t know how you will
react.' And I remember shouting at my mom with the same words...
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