Trrring Trrring

I look at the phone. Its my old manager. I hesitate. Should I pick up the phone or let it be?
Well, it might be nothing. I pick up the phone. Hello Oxxxxx, How do you do?
Hi. What are you doing now? [This doesn’t sound good. No pleasantries and no chit chats.]
Ummmmm. I am at home.
How old is your kid now? [This is definitely not going in the right direction.]
Ehhhh. He’ll be a year next week. Why?
Good. So what have you planned next? Have you started looking out?
Errrrrrrrrrrr. Not really. I was thinking, but... [Why are you calling me with this right now. I dont want to work now. Dont give me options. Go Go Go!!!]
I have an opening. Why don’t you just give it a look? It’s a senior role and I think its perfect for you. See, don’t you guys have a housing loan [so what???? Yes, the BH is sweating over it. I am trying to ignore it].

How can somebody of your calibre sit at home? The industry needs you. the financial world needs you. [He he he, i added that last part. was just flattering myself :-) ]

I don’t know Oxxxx. I really need to think about it. You know, we don’t have a full time maid and the logistics, I really don’t know [I don’t know seems to be my anthem through out this call!] how we’ll manage.
Oh, you guys will manage. So many people do. There are so many working mothers here. The company will support you blah blah blah.

Well the long and short of it is I have been offered a job. The interview is next week (I blanked out in the middle and the next thing I remember is him telling me so we’ll meet you next week.). I am not sure how am going to manage. Couldn’t sleep yesterday night. I kept on thinking of options like day care, maids. What will they do if Mowgli refuses to eat? Refuses to sleep? After reading so much about child abuse that fear is also there at the back of my mind. He has not even started talking. How will he tell me if something goes wrong?
Finally I woke up and looked at the calendar. It was only Nov 4. I have two months to get ready if I get the job. Two months to look at other options. If it doesn’t work out I can always resign right.
It had to come to this one day. Just that I was thinking maybe by next June or something. This seems to be too early. But will there ever come a right time for leaving my baby with somebody else for 6 hours daily?
The BH and I will have to work out a lot of things. If he could go early and come home a little early say around 3 or 4 then the time with the maid or day care would be reduced. Both of us would have more peace of mind. Kids should grow up with their parents not with maids or outsiders. This calls for sacrifices on both our part.
Before I start getting hyper let me go for the interview next week. Have filled a paper with all my concerns.

My fingers are crossed. Cross yours also.