Tired.
Depressed.
With life.
With myself.
Trying to look back and wonder what went wrong this year.
Sifting through memories that need to be left alone.
Have to go on.. look forward.. let things be… understand that people have their own reasons their decisions their responsibility for their actions. Why should it affect me so much? To be hurt when nobody realizes that behind the “don’t-care” facade I care! I care a lot!
After mowgli was born, I always felt that I couldn’t cry anymore. How much ever sad I was I just couldn’t cry. Today the tears are falling freely. Just that I don’t know for what.

Maybe they are;
For the year that is passing by where the BH and I were just little more than strangers to each others.
For Kitu who will not wear those Reebok shoes I had planned to gift him for his next birthday
For a birthday that I waited for an entire year and disappointed me so much
For anniversaries that slipped by un-noticed and ignored
For the times I wanted the BH to understand how I was feeling and he came up with “You are always depressed. What’s new about it?”
For the old me and the me I have turned into nowFor the lost sparkle in my eyes and smile
For the cynic that I have become
For losing the ability to trust anybody again never knowing whether they really will stand by you when you need them
For friends that slipped away when they found their better halves
For a best friend who is leaving to the US for a long long time leaving me with nobody to talk to
For the chores that always look me at my face whenever I want to relax
For the aches and pains that refuse to go away even after so long
For being so tired and un-enthusiastic about life
For wondering what went wrong?
For trying every day to be happy and failing miserably even before the day is over.
For losing out on so many things.
And mainly
For feeling so unwanted
So unloved
So un-cherished
So neglected
Like the furniture in a room.
Serves its purpose by remaining there, but you can still manage without it.