you want to do this..

In Mowgli parlance, have is want. You want to read this book to me. You want to buy gems for me. You want to put Toy Story. You want...
I wish, I could also talk like this. You want to buy gifts for me. You want to cook dinner tonight. You want to sit at home and look after the two angels(imps!)
****************************************
mama, udit bite me.
why?
I donno.
What did you do?
I said I am sorry. appo udit bite me.
huh? why did you tell him sorry? what did you do?
after a lot of hemming and hawing and different versions of udit biting, the truth finally comes out.
Mowgli onnum cheythilla. varuthe kick cheythatha!!!
*******************************
Mowgli and my sister are playing cricket.
He sees her wet sleeve and asks" aye.. you did susu?"
"No! Mowgli. It got wet when I was washing my hand."
Innocently "Do you do susu in bed?"
"Sometimes". she says with a serious look.
" I too. Sometimes." says Mowgli with a conspiratory look. :-)
(Hahahha...its more like daily!!!)
****************************
Mama, Mowglinu ellam venda. Mowgli point cheythu kaanikaam. athu maatram mathi. okay?
okay mama? okay para mama. okay? okay?
All this when I have absolutely no intention of buying anything for him!
************************
Mowgli bites me really hard in the middle of the night. It hurts so much even in the morning. On asking him why , I get the answer. Mowgli mamane alla kadiche. Archit pandane ya!!!! ( So he dreamt that I was his best friend/enemy and bit him!)
**************************************
and too much of listening to kolaveri results in this.
mama, I know all the colours.
pinku.. whiteu... blackuu... blue uuu.. reduuu...
!!!

Mowgli unlimited!

mama, call you manger.
why?
I want to talk to him. tell him you are notty. you no play with me.
aaha..
****************
mama, dont touch me. you will get cold. ( because i told him not to hug Bambi as he had fever)
********************
mama. you dont do joli okay?
If I dont do joli, then who will give me money? To buy our farmhouse and Bullet(which is the BH's latest obsession!)?
Farmhouse papa( my father in law!) medikum. Mowgli parayaam.
and Bullet?
nammaku atmill poyi koreeeeee kaashedukaam!
If only ATM's would get replenished automatically!!!
************************
And bringing me toys to entertain Bambi when she cries. and waking her up the moment he gets up. and wanting to hear baagdkbosedi. and saddahaq. and now the latest is kolaveri :-)Non stop entertainment!

Down

Sometimes, "Was it such a bad day?" would have been an infinitely better response than "What is your problem?"

I am here.

The night will start to fall
You'll lie awake recalling every tender thing she said
You'll think about her laugh
Her touch, her smile becomes a photograph
You can't forget
Not just yet.

You're gonna know that night
When you reach out an' she's not there
An' there's more pain than your heart can bear
Love's just a river till you've crossed it
Suddenly everything in your life feels wrong
You're alive but the reason's gone
You'll know love when you've lost it.

You'll know the taste of tears
You know you will for years, 'cause there's a truth you can't get past
Some bridges will not burn
(Some bridges will not burn.)
But some corners must be turned so you can love again at last
And not look back.
Still until that that night

When you reach out an' she's not there
An' there's more pain than your heart can bear
Love's just a river till you've crossed it
Suddenly everything in your life feels wrong
You're alive but the reason's gone
You'll know love when you've lost it.

It's so easy to recognise
You'll know love when you've lost it...

-You'll know love
Kenny Rogers

Mowglisms

Mowgli: Mama, teacher paranju Mowglinodu tomorrow school bagil little little crackers konduvaranam.
Suspicious Mama: Huh? Nothing is written in your diary.
Trying to look innocent Mowgli : parnju paranju. Diaryill ezhuthan forget cheytatha. Mowglinodu maatram paranje.

Hahaha.. As if!!! Just imagine the state if he takes crackers to school and his bright ideas!
Btw why 'little little' crackers. Beacuse 'Big Big" crackers cause sound polishan and air polishan! Am dumbstruck!!!

Happy 6 months sweetie!

two pearly whites... first word da-da... celebrated your first fall from the bed yesterday... started solids... refuses to lie down alone... thrown my specs... attempts to crawl... pulls your brothers hair... tried to count cocoa's teeth... smiles at every thing that moves... was the star attraction at Mysore zoo with girls queuing up for your snap... endures all our rough handling... your brother's pet...

to our brave daughter Cheers! You have made our lives beautiful :-)

School woes

Mowgli was initially very happy with school. But now the past two months, it has changed. He does not want to go to school “everybody is bad”. His personality itself has changed. Angry as can be for everything. Even if its for a small thing, say No and the tantrums start ending in huge tears. Shouting at us saying we are not his friends, going to another room and sulking, back answering us for almost everything and then feeling sad. We feel so helpless seeing him struggle like this. I spoke to his teacher and she says the same thing. That they have noticed the change in him, but as to what caused the change, they have no clue.
From what I understand, he has been labeled naughty and bad at school. And it hurts him. Other children push him and when he does the same thing back, they complain about him. Yes, kids will be kids, but teachers should have some sense, right? Either they sit down and talk to him and the other children about what is acceptable behavior or they take the easier route which is to call him a Bad boy and leave it at that. He is naughty, extremely naughty and hyperactive. I know that. But he is not bad. He is very loving beneath the naughtiness. His daycare teachers understood him better. He was one of the naughtiest there also, but there he was loved by all of them. He was made to stand in a corner if he hurt other children, but generally they dealt with him better.
Nowadays education is one of the biggest businesses around. Teachers are recruited without any thought given to their experience or their skills. This is an impressionable age for him and I’m sad that he has it so tough. Yes, it could be that I’m over reacting but however toned down I try to be it doesn’t change the fact that Mowgli has changed in a lot in the past two months. Unlike other parents, we have not hounded the school with complaints of XYZ fighting with Mowgli etc. The teachers themselves admit that, but somehow they do not have the patience to deal with him. The constant refrain is “ he is extremely hyperactive” and as an afterthought “also very intelligent”!
The holidays have started and he is much better these days. Maybe it also helps that we both have been actively trying not to show our irritation with him, praising him when he does something good, trying to be more patient with him rather than shouting at him. Have been reading the book “How to talk so kids listen and listen so kids will talk” and its been worthwhile. I still am not able to do even 10% of what the book suggests, but with what little I’ve changed Mowgli has also changed.
And the kids these days. I get naughty, but I don’t get Mean! And that’s what most kids have turned to these days. Mean with a capital M. “Who wants this chocolate?” and tantalizingly opens it in front of all the kids. Mowgli rushes to them shouting “Me, Me”. They seem to be waiting for this. “No, nothing for you, Mowgli” and then gobble it up in front of him. I’m not talking about kids his age, these are at least 6yrs+. The language, the politics, the mentality .. everything has changed so much. Kids do not talk like kids or even think like kids these days. “Stupid” “Shut your mouth” these are words that I hear 4 yr old kids saying to each other. Sometimes the urge to shake them is so strong!
It makes us more and more aware of our responsibility towards him, of what we will teach him, of principles and values, of behavior and manners. In this materialistic world that’s a tall order!

Confessions of two guilty foodaholics!

The BH at the doorstep on his way to office : "You know something. Yesterday by the time I reached office, I was hungry again and had a chikku shake" ( 30 min from home to office)
Me : " Thats okay. The other day I felt so hungry that I bought two packets of Pure Magic and ate them all." ( the intention was to share them, but the speed at which they were gobbled up defied all saintly intentions)
BH with a wide grin : " Oh, thats okay. I do that all the time. Order Gulabjamoon at office for lunch!"

At what should I feel offended? At the fact that I take the trouble to prepare a healthy lunch plus snacks for him and he goes and has jamoon on top of that? Or is it that he had jamoons and didnt even bring me one?
Definitely the latter! How dare he?

I hate school!

Not Mowgli. Me. He loves it!
What did I expect from school? Facilities similar to his daycare minimum. He leaves home at 8.45 am and returns by 2.45 which in itself is too tiring for a small kid. He has a bus commute of close to two hours both ways. The school doesnot have a snack break, instead they ahve just one break for lunch at 12 pm which I feel is too late for kids who have had a small breakfast at 8.30 in the morning. By the time he comes back, he is tired, cranky and hungry and is just waiting to explode. The tantrums can sometimes start from the bus stop itself or once he reaches home. Most days the lunch is brought back untouched; good days are those where the lunch is half finished. I cannot give him rice/chapathi because both come back untouched. He doesnot eat fruits/raw vegetables. I dont want to give him chips/biscuits and stuff like that. So that limits the options for the lunch box. I try to make him have a proper lunch when he gets back and that is a battle in itself. I'm tired over this battle over food. Breakfast, because I know that is the only thing that will keep him going till evening and most days it is a shouting match and threats to take away his toys and what not. Peaceful breakfasts where he eats whole heartedly are very less. The late lunch that he has is even more stressful. He wants to watch Tom and Jerry, he wants to play. I know he is hungry and tired. The more I insist that he finish his lunch the more he dawdles with it. Extremely tired, I ask him to take a nap, at least lie down quietly on the bed with a book, he refuses. Every refusal is accompanied by tears and howls and throwing things. It ends with me shouting at him or spanking him. In the midst of all this is Bambi who most always has been rudely awakened from her afternoon nap by all this noice would be crying non stop.
Today I left him at the table and went to change Bambi's nappy. Came back to see him nodding off at the table. I picked him up and put him on the bed and he was fast asleep in seconds. Its all I can do to not cry in front of the maid, but I'm this close to losing it! Either the school should take responsibility about lunch, ensure that all kids eat their lunch or else send the kids home by 1 pm. With this timing, he has no proper lunch and no nap in the afternoon and remains a grumpy boy throughout! He has always been hyperactive and underweight, now he is even more skinnier and falls sick at the drop of a hat.
We have talked about this to his teacher, but she tells me that he is very stubborn and doesnot eat his lunch! (Then how did he eat in his daycare??? There all the kids were made to sit down in the dining area for lunch , they couldnot run about. They had to finish what was in the plate.) Here either the teachers do not know how to control kids or else they are just not paying enough attention to the kids.

Rolled over! Rolled over!!!

In a fitting tribute to her brother, Bambi rolled over completely today ! And once she got the knack of it, there was no stopping her. Cocoa was the one most amused at this. The strange being that till now was lying flat now was slowly inching to her territory.

We are going to Kerala tomorrow for two weeks. Two long weeks of food and monsoons and surviving a 10hr car journey with two kids and a dog! Both the kids are down with fever and cold, thereby ensuring that I'll be subjected to advice and criticism from the moment we step out of the car. Am praying that both of them recover at least by the time we reach the Kerala border.

This is Bambi's first trip to kerala and most probably Mowgli will be sidelined with all the attention that she is going to get. Tantrums for sure by Mowgli boy. Pretty adventurous and hectic trip ahead. So Goodbye :-)

Its one of those days!

Those days when i lose my cool at

• Mowgli ruminating with one piece of chapathi in his mouth for one hour. Safely tucked in between his cheek, he gives me a blank look when I get mad at him


• Yet another untouched lunchbox. Excuses are plenty. He had potato chips ( God alone knows from where!), there was no time for lunch, it was too much food in the box ( how can two chapathis be too much food for a energetic boy who had his breakfast at 8.30?) I wonder what the teachers and ayahs are doing. He has been going to daycare for almost two years and I've never had a complaint about him not eating.


• Bambi crying for apparently no reason. She doesnot want to feed, she does not want to sleep, she does not want to lie down and play. She just wants to cry cry and cry!


• At a tummy that still looks 5 months pregnant. I had slogged and slogged to lose all the kilos that I had piled on after Mowgli and now back to square one. It just hurts like hell and now with two kids, I know i will not be able to devote so much time to working out.


• At parents for reasons silly and real.


• Mowgli wetting his bed every night. He had got over it and was sleeping through the night. Now he is again back to wetting it twice or thrice at night


• At cracked heels and corns and calluses. At my laziness to do something about them.


• At all the aches real and imagined


• And at me for sometimes being my mother and sometimes being my father and sometimes being just me!!!

Three months!

Dear Bambi,

Three months before, this time, I was sleeping in front of the operation theatre. The doctor was late and we had had no sleep the previous night. What with being taken for various tests at 3am and what not. The catheter was irritating (to put it very mildly) and I just wanted to get everything over. I was scared and anxious unlike the first time. Maybe because I knew better now. The BH and my mother were waiting outside each in their own world of thoughts. Both reliving Mowgli's birth.

After what seemed like eternity they wheeled me into the operation theatre, and then it was a flurry of activities. Pressure taken, random people describing my case history, questions asked of me on why I had opted for a C section, curled into a ball readying myself for the spinal anaesthesia. My doctor came in rushing and we were ready to cut! Everything happened very fast, I was fully conscious talking to the junior doctor when you were pulled out "Its a Boy! Its a Boy." I was slightly disappointed, but happy thinking of the cute nickname that we had selected for the boy. "Oops, Its a Girl Its a Girl, that was the umbilical cord!" Everybody in the theatre started laughing and that is how you came into our lives. To the sound of laughter…

The first sight I had of you was wide open legs. I finally had to tell the doctor, "Yes, I got it. Its a girl. Now can you please show me her face!" I kissed you and there were tears in my eyes. Now, I dont know how that came about. With your brother, there were no tears, I was just relieved that after 6 long and horrible hours, he had finally decided to make an appearance! Seeing you for the first time was a sweet feeling. That the girl we had so longed for had finally come.

They cleaned you up, wrapped you in a blue flannel and went to show the BH and mamama. and Your dada kept on asking the doctor, "Boy or Girl?". The wily fellow just said "Why dont you see for yourselves?" and slowly took his sweet time unwrapping you. Your mamama says that your dada was ready to grab you from the doctor by this time. And once he knew, it was a girl, the baby girl that he dreamt about he was quiet, so happy that there were no words. He has always maintained that Mowgli and I gang up on him and he needed a girl to be on his side always. Well, now that you are here lets all gang up on your dada :-)

Three months went by really fast as always. You are one of the happiest babies I've ever seen (*Touchwood*). Content to lie down quietly, and once you started smiling, always smiling. You talk to yourself in different tones and if we dont pay attention, the tone starts becoming shriller and shriller. Mowgli loves you and kisses you the first thing in the morning. You are very patient allowing him to smother you with his kisses, not reacting much when he slyly pinches you. Most evenings, you lie down on your playmat surrounded by cars and a hyper brother and a hyper dog! You have started travelling at 2 months, and completely at ease. You have been to drop your chachan at school, pick him up from the bus stop, have bought vegetables, walked in the play area downstairs, been to the swimming pool and even gone to the airport in a volvo!!! Others see you and exclaim "Such a small baby, why have you brought her out of the house?"But you are one tough chick! You fix them with a stare and then with a sweet smile. Tagging behind your brother from now itself. I shudder to think of the days when you will start crawling behind him.We are more relaxed with you, after all we are veterans by now :-) Enjoying playing with you, talking to you. By the way, thats what you like the best- people talking to you. You also talk back making sounds in different tones. Its fun! Your nickname is still in dispute. Your dada is still sticking to his "old fashioned name" and I to the "modern cute name". I have the family behind me and your dada has the friends. Mowgli, depending on which of us he needs more, changes the nickname to gain preference. At times he will tell us to call you "Gudiya baby", "rehaan baby" etc. As the lady of this house, I have hope and faith that mine will be the last word, and my name will stick. Well, time will tell!
So, as always keep smiling and God Bless.
P.S. Do try to lift your lazy butt and roll over. Your hyperactive brother rolled over at this time!

Love,
Mama

School, Two kids

On the first day, Mowgli comes back with a tear streaked face. Reason being " Mowglinte classile ella boysum gerlsum cry cheyuva" ! Thus starts peer pressure
Genes. They are a strange thing. Funny how they pop up unexpectedly. Just like his father, anybody and everybody within a 500m radius are Mowgli's FRIENDS. He doesnot know their names, they might not be in his class, they most probably will be ignoring him big time, but for him everybody is a friend. Randomly goes and hugs other kids, pulls a girl's pigtails as we walk towards the car, waves bye to another chap. He plays with the kids in the apartment for a couple of hours and then invites them home to play some more! The BH has sobered down a little now, otherwise he used to be as bad as this. Our house used to be the unofficial guest house for anybody who came to Blore! Am preparing myself for the deluge of 'friends' that will grace our house in the years to come!!!
He totally adores Bambi (the little princess has been christened Bambi). So the day starts with him crushing her with one of his bear hugs and kisses. Along with the love, there are moments of jealousy when I'm given strict instructions to not give duddu to baby.. let her cry. And he has discovered that this is somebody whom he can order about. A small pinch for " baby enthina bedill susu cheythe? Go to the bathroom". " baby enthina kai vayilidane?" "baby enthina karayane... chachan edukano?" Slyly trying to lift Bambi when nobody is looking, pulling off her socks when he is irritated with her, surrounding her with cars and trucks of all shapes and sizes, talking to her about his trucks and monkeys and elephants.

She on the other hand is relatively calmer than Mowgli. Totally content with life. And has resigned herself to life with Mowgli and Cocoa :-)

And us? We are enjoying this mishmash!

When I was pregnant with Bambi, a senior colleague told me "A second child will make your family complete. It might sound cliched, but its the truth." I had jokingly responded that with just one kid and a dog our family was as 'complete' as could be. But now I understand what he meant. Totally.

and we start BIG SCHOOL!

The little princess has arrived!

Well.. only time will tell if she is indeed an angel or an imp! Considering the genes, more the latter :-) The BH is over the moon with his darling daughter!!! How are we doing? Good question. I dont know. Mowgli is slowly getting over his insecurities. It was very sad to see him the first week with the baby. Trying to hide his feelings, acting happy because everybody else was so excited, worried about seeing me lying in the hospital, clinging to his dada, not sure whether he would be left behind somewhere. Terrible tantrums and tears for everything as a result of which he has lost his voice. Slyly hurting the baby when he thinks nobody is looking, a small bite here and there, a pinch. The little one is calm ( quite different from her hyperactive brother), so it is easier to just concentrate on Mowgli always. He is better now, smothering her with kisses and hugs when he feels like it. As the days go by, he gets more secure. I've had a C section this time and the worst part of it is that I cant lift Mowgli. My mother is here for a month and then the BH's mother for another month. I should rest and heal fast, but at another level I want everybody to go back and for us to be again a family...

Dear Mowgli,

Today when I scolded you, you hugged me tight and said "Mowgliku kettipidikanam" (Mowgli wants to hug). I felt very bad and as in the last couple of months wondered yet again whether having another baby was the right decision or not. Should we have waited some more years? Is there a right answer? I dont know. All I know is that I hope that you love the baby, more than Dada or mama. That you two be there for each other always even when we are dead and gone. That you two will get into mischief and will cover up for each other and make fools out of us. That for both of you, God will bless you with all the happiness and love that you need and more. And that we be good parents to you both. The last is my worry. Are we good parents? Are we doing the right thing? In the end there is no right or wrong, we do what our heart and mind feels is best for you. Whether it was really the best, time will tell. So sweetie pie, cheer up. Mama and dada love you and nobody else can take your place. You are the one who made us parents, who taught us patience ( well, we have improved.. what more do you expect?), who taught us to stop and smile, who accomodated all our crazy trips and our crazier ideas, who adopted Cocoa into this crazy household... You are the firstborn and that is always special :-) I could go on and on, but life needs to be lived and loved... Lets do that and be back here with how it feels to be the Big Brother in a couple of days!

Ummmmmmma.

Luv,

dada and mama.

Appreciation- a forward

One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.He passed the first interview; the director did the last interview.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research, never had a year when he did not score.The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?"
The youth answered "none".The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"
The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was my mother who paid for my school fees.The director asked, "Where did your mother work?"
The youth answered, "My mother worked as laundry woman.
The director requested the youth to show his hands.
The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"
The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.The director said, "I have a request. “When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands, and then see me tomorrow morning.”The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to the young man.The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled, and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.After finishing the cleaning of his mother’s hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."
The youth said:
1. I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, there would not have been the successful me today.
2. By working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done.
3. I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationships.The director said, "This is what I am looking for to be my manager.I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired.Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted, would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put him self first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. For this kind of a person, who may be good academically, may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the childreninstead?
You can let your children live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, you want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. The most important thing is your children learn how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learn how to work with others to get things done.

conversations!

On the way to daycare. ( somehow Mowgli and me have our most soul searching conversations at this time!)
"Mama, Mowgli schoolil povumbam mama cry cheyanda. Okay?"
Thinking to myself, " Why will I cry!!! I'll be so happy, hahahaha. " Okay Mowgli, I'll try not to cry. but will you cry?"
" Noooooooooo. Mowgli big boy aayille. so enthina karayane?"
Oh Yeah!!!

***************************************************************
My mother has been with us for a week and today she calls me at office. "Where is Cocoa?"
"What? Where is cocoa? Did you look everywhere?"
"Yes! Not there in the house."
"What? Where can she go? Did you check under the bed? Call her with a biscuit or something. Must be hiding somewhere." I'm very puzzled as to how can Cocoa disappear!
Silence at the other end.
"Mama, what? Did you find her?"
My mother bursts into laughter. " I'm not talking about your big fat dog! Where is cocoa powder? I'm planning to make a pudding!"
"Ohhhhhhhhhh.."
*********************************************************

lazy bones!

Its early in the morning and Mowgli and I are snuggling to ecah other. Suddenly he sits up and says, "mama, athenthu sounda?" (What is that sound?)
I tell him, "The birdies are telling you Get up Get up".
A big smile and eyes tightly closed, the reply comes " Alla Mama, birdies parayuva, Sleep Sleep"!!!!

He has inherited his aunts' ( both paternala nd maternal) laziness!