Mowgli was initially very happy with school. But now the past two months, it has changed. He does not want to go to school “everybody is bad”. His personality itself has changed. Angry as can be for everything. Even if its for a small thing, say No and the tantrums start ending in huge tears. Shouting at us saying we are not his friends, going to another room and sulking, back answering us for almost everything and then feeling sad. We feel so helpless seeing him struggle like this. I spoke to his teacher and she says the same thing. That they have noticed the change in him, but as to what caused the change, they have no clue.
From what I understand, he has been labeled naughty and bad at school. And it hurts him. Other children push him and when he does the same thing back, they complain about him. Yes, kids will be kids, but teachers should have some sense, right? Either they sit down and talk to him and the other children about what is acceptable behavior or they take the easier route which is to call him a Bad boy and leave it at that. He is naughty, extremely naughty and hyperactive. I know that. But he is not bad. He is very loving beneath the naughtiness. His daycare teachers understood him better. He was one of the naughtiest there also, but there he was loved by all of them. He was made to stand in a corner if he hurt other children, but generally they dealt with him better.
Nowadays education is one of the biggest businesses around. Teachers are recruited without any thought given to their experience or their skills. This is an impressionable age for him and I’m sad that he has it so tough. Yes, it could be that I’m over reacting but however toned down I try to be it doesn’t change the fact that Mowgli has changed in a lot in the past two months. Unlike other parents, we have not hounded the school with complaints of XYZ fighting with Mowgli etc. The teachers themselves admit that, but somehow they do not have the patience to deal with him. The constant refrain is “ he is extremely hyperactive” and as an afterthought “also very intelligent”!
The holidays have started and he is much better these days. Maybe it also helps that we both have been actively trying not to show our irritation with him, praising him when he does something good, trying to be more patient with him rather than shouting at him. Have been reading the book “How to talk so kids listen and listen so kids will talk” and its been worthwhile. I still am not able to do even 10% of what the book suggests, but with what little I’ve changed Mowgli has also changed.
And the kids these days. I get naughty, but I don’t get Mean! And that’s what most kids have turned to these days. Mean with a capital M. “Who wants this chocolate?” and tantalizingly opens it in front of all the kids. Mowgli rushes to them shouting “Me, Me”. They seem to be waiting for this. “No, nothing for you, Mowgli” and then gobble it up in front of him. I’m not talking about kids his age, these are at least 6yrs+. The language, the politics, the mentality .. everything has changed so much. Kids do not talk like kids or even think like kids these days. “Stupid” “Shut your mouth” these are words that I hear 4 yr old kids saying to each other. Sometimes the urge to shake them is so strong!
It makes us more and more aware of our responsibility towards him, of what we will teach him, of principles and values, of behavior and manners. In this materialistic world that’s a tall order!
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