Some days are like this

Adios 2008

The year is finally about to end! I have never looked forward to the next year as I have this time. It was a very different year-2008. A year of adjustments and transitions. Of new roles and new situations.
2008 Gave us Mowgli; Made us parents; Taught us how to love unconditionally; Made us look at our parents anew while they slipped into the role of grand parents with ease.
It also took away my job and our plans along with it; made me rethink my priorities, made me go crazy with despair at times sitting at home endlessly cleaning up after mowgli. My whole life revolved around him this year. Days when he ate well slept well, I was relaxed. But those days were quite few. Most of the time I was tired, back aching, feet aching and wishing that I could just go home and relax with somebody else to look after mowgli. Irritated most of the time at how our home looked, fed up with people who took us for granted and popped in and out at their own will, irked at most of the things I used to like before. It was a strange year.
We welcomed a new member, my brother-in-law, into our crazy family this year and will see off my sister to France at the start. She will be back only by next December. A long year lies ahead without her. We fight day and night, but I love her a lot. However much she grows up, she will always be my little sister. My responsibility. I so want to protect her and keep her safe and happy always. She has always been the quiet and ambitious one. May the next year grant her success in her career. But let it also teach her that family is more important than everything else.
It seemed to be a year that gave importance to relationships. Almost all our friends got engaged/married this year. Those who were married had babies/ became pregnant. Slowly all of us have left behind the carefree days of college and are moving towards responsibilities. It is a difficult time- this transition phase. Hopefully we will all adjust and learn to strike that balance between what we were and what we are now.
This year was also one of fear. Fear when the BH was away on his tours. Scared for Mowgli thinking about the world that we have brought him into. Worried about how he will cope with a maid/crèche. Hearing shocking stories from other parents and praying hard that they will remain just that. Stories and things that happen to others.
What do I wish for in 2009?
Oh to go back to those days when being happy came naturally and it was not something you had to work at!
Blissful days and nights with my husband.
Moments to cherish with my son.
A job that will allow me to work on my terms.
Friends, love and laughter to fill our home once more and overwhelm us all
Cupid to attack us once again to rekindle the embers.
Full of these little joys and sunshine and my cup overfloweth.

Goodbye 2008.

Cheers 2009.

God Bless

And we are off!

To Kerala tomorrow.
Free from cooking and cleaning.
Total relaxation.
Many willing hands to play with Mowgli, carry him around, listen to all his requests and treat him like a king. As for poor me, I'll read and eat and sleep and laze around and Turn a deaf ear to the advices!!! Mowgli is just recovering from a severe bout of diarrhoea and has become half his size! So am sure to be hearing a lot of views on why he is so thin, why he has not yet started walking, why does he have only four teeth and not more. Oh, the list is endless. But for once I have decided not to let anything bother me. Taking a leaf out of my sister’s book; Smile politely at everyone, listen and nod sagely at each piece of advice that you get and then proceed to do what you want!
One of our close friends is getting married tomorrow in Kannur. Its 12 hours from here. The BH can’t make it as it’s the quarter end and he’s almost dead with the pressure. So it’s just Mowgli and me with our friends. I am hoping that mowgli will behave. Fully prepared with new toys, food and the like. The BH got me a nice Assam silk from one of his tours. I will be wearing that. Its a cream sari with blue and black hand embroidery done. Mowgli is wearing a traditional kurta-pajama that he got on his birthday. We both hope to rock!!!!
From there another 6 hours train journey to the BH’s home town. We’ll be there for a week and then on to my place to celebrate X’mas. I think the biggest advantage of marrying somebody from a different religion is that you get to celebrate all your festivals with your parents J it’s a win-win situation for the husband and the wife and the grand parents. (Now why don’t they think of all these advantages instead of over reacting!!!!)
Mowgli is much better now as compared to the last two weeks. He’s eating better and looking much much better. It was horrible to see him lose so much weight within 2-3 days and the poor guy crying with the tummy pains and feeling so tired after each bout of loose motion. The doctors have said that it will take time to recover. Once he is better we have to again visit the doctor as they want to discuss Mowgli’s growth progress!!! He is totally underweight and under height L 8.5 kgs for a one year old and 70 cm! Pathetic,na?
We have made an album of Mowgli's life, from the time he was born till he shaved his head, as a X'mas present for his grand parents. All four grandparents are going to be completely fida over it!
So Happy X’mas and I’ll be back with a huge surprise for all of you!

"A happy home...

... is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the
other may be right, though neither believes it."

You and me and ours...

The new dining table arrived. I spent an hour looking at it from all angles, imagining life with this new addition to the family. Meal times that linger on… homework being done… gossiping with friends over coffee… children talking about their day ( as of now just Mowgli, but hopefully many more :-) )… the BH thinks I am crazy to do this and to weave so many dreams into the future but well that is how I am!

All the things in our house are precious to us and if you ask me, I can tell you the exact time we bought it, how many months we saved for it, how we planned for it. I know people who buy everything as soon as they get married. But somehow it just doesn’t feel right. After all what is marriage without experiencing the joy ( or misery) of sleeping on the floor, eating from one plate, saving for that particular chair that you saw and cribbing over being broke?
We started our married life with just a single cot mattress and a TV. An odd combination, you say. The TV was a gift. The mattress came from my bachelor days. We were both broke. The BH had just joined a new office and all our savings had been spent on our wedding. The first thing that we bought was a fridge, as I “assumed” that now that I had got married I would immediately metamorphose into a bharatiya nari and start cooking breakfast, lunch, dinner and the umpteen snacks in between. If I was going to cook so much, obviously there were going to be leftovers and therefore we needed a fridge most importantly. No small fridges for me, than you very much. It has to be a huge fridge with space enough to store food for a small army. Talk about foresight. Hahaha, I had grossly underestimated my mom’s cooking skills. The fridge for the most part of the 2 years has been lonely with just a packet of milk, bread and butter as company. Till Mowgli came along we have been weekend cookers( excuse the pun!) mainly living off take-aways, cornflakes ( that’s the BH-poor guy, he has been forced to have cornflakes, good ol’ bread and the like for breakfast while I go gorge on yummy idlis, dosas, parathas at office). Now that I’m staying at home our fridge is slowly being put to optimum use. The snacks have yet to come, but at least lunch and dinner are getting done now!
With the BH grumbling every morning that I push him out to the floor every night, the next item to come along was a double cot mattress (P.S. we have a king size bed now and still the BH grumbles every night that we push him to a corner and he hardly has any place to sleep!!! Doesn’t it look like he has a “space” problem? :-)) . The single mattress was relegated to the drawing room and made into an impromptu seating arrangement with cushions and bolsters. Meals were had on the floor. We watched TV lying on the floor. Those were idyllic days; the BH watched all the series of Godfather and Die Hard in marathon sessions while I slept/read the whole day. Evenings were spent with friends roaming around or the guys would make chicken/beef/pork at home. We never felt the need for more furniture.
A friend who was going for a long term onsite lend us his antique semi automatic washing machine. Till then the BH and I used to wash the clothes together. Even after getting the washing machine he would help me in putting out the clothes for drying, pouring water into the machine, cleaning up the bathroom after the washing had finished. Now we have a fully automatic one and the BH “talks” about helping me with the washing!!!!
Repeated nagging from my mom forced us to finally think of buying some more furniture. We wanted an ethnic look but didn’t have the budget for it. As a temporary arrangement, we settled for good old cane furniture for the drawing room and a four seater dining table. More than enough for us.

[We cruised along with these for more than a year. ]

A year into our marriage we bought a house. The woodwork and everything sucked into our savings leaving us with absolutely nothing in the bank to do the furnishings. As usual these got delegated to a later day when we have the money. (This seems to be a steady refrain with us; I think “when we have the money then we will do this and that and that.”) Everybody from home planned to come for the house-warming thus making a cot essential. My grand parents were coming; obviously you couldn’t expect them to sleep on the floor. We fought over cots, visited different shops and finally fell in love with the furniture at Maya Organic. Simple yet elegant rubber wood furniture stained to match the décor of your home. We saw two cots that we loved, had the budget only for one. Bought that and went back to that shop 6 months later to buy the other one (by then they had hiked the price by 4k!!!).

[The bed that i fell in love with. Low level-king size]

Both of us being book lovers next in line was a book shelf. There was a small nook upstairs which was perfect. Wanting something different we raided the internet for designs. Both of us picked one and fought over them. In the end, the BH combined two of the designs we both liked into something like this. For me this is the best part of our home. I can spend hours looking at the books and feeling so happy with myself and the world.

[Six seater dark wood dining table]

Wooden chairs. Searched everywhere for them and finally got it at an exhibition.

Our balcony ( a work in progress). The big whale and the tortoise guarding the small fishes in the urli.

We are no where finished. What is remaining? The drawing room furniture needs to be upgraded. Mowgli’s room has to be furnished. Our study still remains a dream. Currently making do with the old dining table functioning as a stand for the desktop and laptop. The upper floor needs to be converted into a living room which is a major work. Parapet gardens to be made for the balconies. There is a lot more work. With me not working full time, there is a strain on resources as we are right now concentrating on pre-paying the housing loan rather than spending on home improvements.
Sometimes the BH feels a little depressed when he visits friends and sees their designer homes. At times like that this is what I say to him; “After all ‘Home’ wasn’t built in a day!”
But seriously, a home is only as good as the people in it. The realization that so many friends/relatives feel so comfortable dropping in and staying with us says millions about our home. That it indeed is a place of warmth, love and happiness filled with happy memories not just for us but for many others too. And in the end that is all that matters.

Our Home

Our Aashiyana.

Keep us safe

The BH and I had gone for Dostana on Sunday. Mowgli at his bua’s place. The theatre was almost empty and that too on a Sunday afternoon. It was sad and shocking.
Halfway into the movie, I was struck with a sudden thought, ‘What if something happens to us? The theatre blows up or something like that. Thank God, Mowgli is not with us. At least he’s safe at home.”
At night the BH and I were talking when I told him this. He looked at me with a serious expression and said “Me too. I was thinking that he would have been alone his entire life if anything happened to us.”
Is this what the terrorists intended? Other than the physical calamities, the psychological one is more terrifying. That unspoken fear in everybody’s hearts. The unanswered question “What if something happens to us?”
I kept on getting up through out the night looked at Mowgli cozily snuggled against the BH and thought of how life would be if anything happened to either of us.
Thought of writing a will. How to ensure that everything goes smoothly?
Finances.
Grand parents.
Different options and scenarios played in and out of my mind.
Woke up troubled and tensed. In these testing times I finally turned to God. Said a quiet prayer and asked him to bless my family and keep them safe. That’s all that I can do.
Keep my family safe, God.

Back to lacy lingerie...

Its all over. The last physical tie that bound my son to me is gone now. We are finally done with breast feeding. Prepared to spend sleepless nights, the BH and I geared ourselves for the drama that was to be. Friday night was horrible. He was crying the whole time and refused to sleep. I was up the whole night walking him around and napping for short intervals with Mowgli sleeping on my chest. There were moments when I was almost compelled to feed him just so that we could sleep, but kept on telling myself that he is one year old and its high time he needs to eat other foods also. Saturday night was little better. Just the occasional crying. He would wake up 3-4 times, drink water and I would walk him to sleep. Then we both would lie down listening to music, he on my chest again. On Sunday we did the same. And finally on Monday night he realized that theres no point getting up 3-4 times in the night just to drink water! He slept through the night with getting up once or twice. We just had to change his position and pat him to sleep. No fuss. The same yesterday night too. Which means, yes its really over!
It is so sweet and sad at the same time. I am happy and relieved to stop breast feeding. Hopefully I’ll shed all the extra kilos and get back to my previous avatar. Its also a relief to not get up innumerable times every night. In fact after an entire year I slept for more than 5 hrs at a stretch yesterday . But along with all these there’s a small part of me that’s missing it. Missing that special time where it was just the both of us. Just wondering how soon they grow up. How is he taking it? Children have such short memories. In just four days he has completely forgotten that such a thing existed. He has adjusted to it so fast. Is it a character trait or are all kids like this?
There have been so many changes that happened ion the past 2-3 days. He has started drinking cow’s milk. He used to hate it before. Now he drinks two bottles with absolutely no fuss! He points to the bottle and asks for milk now! Never thought this day would come when Mowgli would actually point to food and say yes!!!
Its as if he has suddenly grown up. Eating better, sleeping better, playing more. (Touchwood!)
Progressed to shorts from nappies. Started toilet training. Brushing teeth twice a day. Oh, why dont babies stay babies :-(

We shaved his head too over the weekend. No tears no fighting. Just sat there quietly playing with his toys while the barber snipped off his beautiful curls. At one point of time he touched his head and looked at us with a surprised expression. Then he kept on touching his head and then rubbing his fingers, maybe wondering where the hair went.
By this time he understood that his hair was going and he grew quite angry. One slap for the barber and two bites for poor mama. Lets hope those beautiful girly curls come back :-)
I totally dig this new look! Its not as bad as how I thought it would be. What do you think?

THE BEAST IS COMING FOR THE FEAST!!!

Roarrrrr..the BH growls and lunges for Mowgli. Looking at them roll around, tickling each other I cant say who is enjoying this more. Mowgli giggling away to glory. The BH treasuring this time and filing away this moment in his cabinet of memories
So howz life with a one year old? Did I think it would be more peaceful? Nah!
The kid is behaving just like his namesake Mowgli! Like a true jungle boy. Climbing up and down the furniture.. trying to lick the shoe polish… almost swallowed a cockroach(YUCK!!!) harassing the little fishes in our balcony… smiling at the neighbors and behaving so nicely with them that they refuse to believe my scary tales! He is one endless bundle of energy. Active from the time he gets up till he sleeps. The moment he gets up, he scrambles over me , down the bed, crawls to the door wriggling his cute butt turns around and looks at his amused and sleepy parents and waves his hand “tata”. In fact that should be named his slogan of the day! Tata at all times, the moment he sees the lift, the car, the maid, anybody outside. Its always TaTa. He should have been on the Alto ad “Lets go, tata”!
He is getting naughtier by the minute... by the second…Lots of small things were missing- mowgli’s powder puff, Vaseline, sipper cap and the like. I had given up on finding them thinking that they’ll turn up when I least expect it. And guess what today morning I discovered his treasure trove – a small gap between the bed and the wall. He would climb on the bed drop the article down that tiny gap climb down; get the next thing and do the same thing over and over again. From where do kids learn all this? It’s so amazing.
His laziness knows no bounds. Too lazy to crawl around, he pushes his car or any object with wheels with one hand and uses that momentum to get to one place from another. Walking is another story altogether. He walks holding on to objects, but till now has not shown any initiative to start walking on his own. If we try to make him walk holding on to our fingers he is more interested in kicking the ball or anything that is in the way!
His lunar sign is famous for its stubbornness and its becoming evident in some ways. He points to wherever he wants to go and we have to take him there. If we don’t then one short scream and sometimes one slap! In the beginning this was very cute, but innumerable slaps later (some with my wooden spatula, comb, toys) it is pretty painful.
This past two weeks Mowgli has been enjoying himself with his new toys. A Winnie-the-pooh bear train, building blocks, a tent house, a red cycle and a small chair are the main headlights.

Of all these the tent house seems to be his favourite. It’s the perfect place for him to hide away from us, use it as a secret getaway to store the spoons and plates he flicks from the kitchen, play peek-a-boo with us, use it as his own space.

My favourite is the chair. He has not yet figured out how to get down from the chair by himself, so it’s the perfect place to plonk him whenever I need to get something done. He is happy to just sit there nibbling on a biscuit offering some to me whenever he gets bored with it. And the way he sits is totally bindaas.He draws up his legs, puts his hand behind the armrest gunda style and looks totally adorable.

Yet to download the birthday snaps. Will be back soon with them.