The mood is bitter.
The BH’s sister is getting married. An inter religion marriage just like us. And her father has agreed to it.
On one plane, I am very very happy for her. That she did not have to go through any of the mental agony that we did, her prayers have been answered and she has no more tensions left. Her parents and in laws have hit it off real well from the beginning itself. It’s a good thing.
But on the other plane I feel very bitter. That when we were in the same situation three years back, his father was totally different. Repeatedly rude to my parents and grandparents, refusing to come to the reception which my parents finally put together. His ego was dominant and he refused to listen to anybody else. He wanted to make things most difficult for us and in that he succeeded. Nobody has ever made me cry so much as this man did. And almost a year after our marriage he finally came around that he would accept us provided I convert, changed my name to something else and used that name in the invitation card! I don’t know whether he realizes how much pain he caused my parents or how much problems he created between the BH and me because of his stubbornness and ego.
Marriage is not just a union of two people, it is also a coming together of two different families. It is a bond where there is no blood relation and yet the relationship evolves to one more close than any. Every girl looks forward to her marriage. The days before the D-day filled with love. There is a mood of celebration in the house…frantic planning… endless shopping… good natured teasing... love and happiness abounding. There is a feeling of anticipation of going to a new home, a feeling of wonder and amazement at how the years have passed the excitement at the beginning of a new phase. And finally when the day arrives, it turns out to be the happiest moment in the bride and bridegroom’s minds filling their minds with happy memories. And thanks to the ego of one person, we were denied all this!
There is a saying that there are two instances when children realize how much their parents love them. One is during their wedding and the other is when they have children of their own. But for us, one set of parents refused to take part and the other set was so tensed and worried that they just wanted the damn thing to be done over with! And today this man is happily talking to his daughter’s in-laws to be, politely discussing how to conduct the marriage. Now there is no ego, no loss of pride, no throwing the daughter out of the house, no screaming at in-laws. Nothing!!!
Its been three years now, high time to forgive and move on, but what do they say about the heart not allowing to forget. So true, everybody is so selfish when it comes to their own.
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