And my world turns upside down

Just when I thought I've got it, everything changed. Was pulled into a new project which requires me to work from office daily. So I'm now in a 9-6 job and then calls at night. Its been two weeks and I'm still undecided whether I like it or not.

The good thing is that I walk to work daily thereby clocking close to 13k steps daily. Haven't noticed any change with the weight, but at least I'm getting some regular exercise. My evening calls have reduced considerably, so at least I'm able to read a bedtime story to the kids and have a relaxed dinner.

The flip side is that I get to spend very little time with the kids and the BH. Both of us had gotten used to the working from home/flexi working hours and it was very comfortable. I had more time to manage multiple things at home along with office work - coffee time with the BH, picking kids from school some days, having lunch with Bambi, listening to Mowgli talk about his day, helping with the homework. Now, most of this is on the BH which is not fair. Yes, I know in a couple of months Bambi will get into Ist grade and then it would be a full day school for her as well.

Anyway , it is what it is. What we have developed as a routine now is breakfast together at 8am. Bought a bell which the kids ring after setting the table and again dinner together at 7pm. Lets see how this goes...

Life and the ways it twists and turns is indeed strange....

Calvin & Hobbes.. the love that passes on

and sometimes early mornings are the best time to read!!!

dose of sarcasm for the day done 😵

Love

the heady rush of the anticipation of seeing that someone
walking down corridors eagerly hoping to get a glimpse
spending time saying nothing , content with the proximity

to
crossing the road hand in hand
a lazy leg thrown over a sleeping form
warm feet to snuggle into

to
bike rides without the kids
learning new things
long trips with the kids

to
hospital visits together
illness and hangovers
obesity and medicine strips

for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health
to love and to cherish
till death do us part....

Interesting finds

Storyline as an alternative to mindless cartoons. Mowgli used to love it from the time he was 4 or 5.. Bambi has started enjoying it these days. For those super busy days when I need a break. The TV still stays off during the weekdays. Friday evening is when they switch it on for their R&R.

Healthfood for healthy recipes using alternate grains. Lots of options to simplify cooking and eat healthy

Vaashi House of Jeans for the most comfortable jeans ever

Bambi & Siri

Bambi's conversations with Siri..

Bambi: Where are you? I cant see you?
Siri: I am wherever you are

Bambi: When are you born?
Siri: That doesn't matter. This is about you!

Bambi: Why should I do that?
Siri: Thats an interesting question

now if only I could be that diplomatic!

Independence in small measures

Yesterday, Mowgli insisted on cycling to his badminton class. Its about 1 km from our home. Bambi also tagged along. Both of us walked while he cycled. While returning, Bambi was cranky. So I got the car and his helmet. Told him to cycle in front while we drove behind. 

Bambi got hyper at this. "we cant do this mama. Somebody will kidnap chacha." Mowgli, as expected, was thrilled at this sudden independence. He has been wanting to do it for quite some time. Yesterday being a holiday, traffic was very light. Easier to allow this. 

He was quite careful, riding slowly, sticking to the left of the road, stopping at an intersection and crossing it only when safe. Bambi rolled down the windows and steadily issued a set of instructions. "Chacha.. drive faster.. driver slower.. stop, car is coming."  It was quite a sight. Small boy riding carefully with a bolero following behind at 10 kmph!

He struggled a little on the driveway down the basement as that was the first time he had ever cycled down a steep slope. Got home all happy and thrilled. He didn't say much, but was super happy! And I think he also realised that it was not an easy task to cycle on the road and that's why we don't allow him to go alone.

The icing on the cake- Bambi's comments. " Mama, chacha is very happy. I'm also very happy because you allowed him to do this... and made him happy!" Rests back with a smug look on her face!

This girl!, I tell you.. sometimes I feel she is my mother instead of the other way around!!!

Scolding!

Morning rush time again.. Mowgli and I were hurrying down the lift- it was not really late, but close. Mowgli was whining that he wanted to be dropped by car and I was grumbling that its just a 2 min walk and we are not that late. In the rush, he accidentally pressed the wrong button. I started shouting at him and the lift door opened at the same time. At the wrong floor. Where our neighbour was standing. He looked at both of us, awkwardly smiling at him, smiled at us and looked at me "Dont scold him, its alright". The lift doors closed at the right time just so he didn't see my eyes tear up.

I dropped Mowgli (no, he wasn't late! there was plenty of time!) and all the way back I kept thinking about what my neighbour said. Did he mean the shouting in the lift or was he talking about something else? Could they hear me shouting at the kids almost all the time these days? I wonder what they think about us? And the biggest one - AM I a bad mother?

I realise that I take out most of my frustration on the kids and the dogs. Mowgli in particular because he is the messy one, louder one and the elder one. I keep forgetting that they are only nine and five years.. Not old enough to behave like adults.... But they are the most convenient outlets and that makes me feeling worse. How bad can I get to take out my anger on two small kids???

My frustration at not being to understand why the BH retreats into a  shell most of these days... as far as I know there is nothing wrong and it just seems like a i-dont-care-whats-with-my family thought that drives the BH to his shell. Where he will sit for days, answering in monosyllables, sitting quiet throughout the day. I don't know what triggers this and its driving me crazy. Is it me? Is it something I said? Is it something I did? And then I keep thinking why should it always be about me? I'm sick and tired of accepting the blame for everything that goes wrong around here. In spite of all that I do, there always seems to be a huge gap.

God bless all of us. What else to do?